How to Play Like a Dolphin for Nervous System Health and Regulation

As I sat watching the horizon for signs of the next wave, two dolphins appeared.

Side by side, they gathered speed, riding the energy of the ocean swell. Their eyes seemed to smile with delight as they glided by. Dolphins don’t rearrange their day to fit in a surf. They tune in to the energy of the ocean and ride the swell as it invites them.

How can we benefit from playing like dolphins?

When my son asks, “Dad, can you play with me?” my mind often finds excuses to delay or avoid playing. These excuses usually fall into two broad categories:

• I’m too busy
  
  

• I’m too tired
  
  

The too busy excuse often stems from activity in the sympathetic nervous system, a sign I’m tipping towards a state of over-activation. Perhaps a little anxiety is creeping in as I think about my to-do list.

The too tired excuse usually comes from a nervous system leaning into dorsal vagal, resisting connection and attempting to conserve energy.

Saying yes to the invitation to play is the first step toward centering the nervous system in ventral vagal. As we play, our system rides the wave of shared energy, joy, and connection—leaving us feeling calm, connected, and regulated.

What if, like a dolphin responding to the energy of the ocean, you said yes to an opportunity to engage in play with spontaneity and joy?

Your Body Knows Before You Do

“Why did you turn here?” my wife used to ask.

I never had a logical answer. It just happened, exit the freeway early, take the roundabout left instead of straight ahead.

Life works like that too. Sometimes we follow the nudge and find magic. Other times, we ignore it and learn the hard way.

Science says your brain can process 11 million bits of information a second, but your conscious mind only catches 40 or 50 bits. The rest lives in your body, quietly scanning for safety, opportunity, and alignment.

When we strengthen our connection to the body through mindfulness, meditation, and movement  in nature, we fine tune this inner intuition. When we trust it, creativity flows, choices feel lighter, and the path ahead opens with ease.

What’s your body whispering to you today?

The Hidden Messages Your Body Sends Your Brain (And How Stillness Helps You Hear Them)

Stillness is not the absence of movement, but the moment we begin to notice what is already moving inside us.

Polyvagal theory reveals that around 80% of communication between the brain and the rest of the body via the vagus nerve flows from the body to the brain. This means our thoughts are shaped subconsciously by bodily signals such as emotions, sensations, and physiological changes, often without our conscious recognition.

Sitting in silent meditation allows us to tune into these messages. By noticing the sensations in the body, we can recognize which part of the nervous system is most active. Are we feeling restlessness or agitation, suggesting our sympathetic nervous system may be activated? Do we notice dullness or fatigue, indicating the dorsal vagal state has applied the brakes? Or is there a calm, peaceful presence, suggesting the ventral vagal system is guiding the experience?

Checking in with ourselves a few times throughout the day and allowing the system to regulate and settle, provides the nurturing environment we need to centre ourselves, quiet the mind, and live from the compassionate, grounded presence that exists within all of us.

Stillness becomes less about stopping and more about listening to what is already moving within.

What message is your body sending you right now?

Listening with presence

Listening, really listening to somebody is a great gift and a skill.

 This week, I completed week 6 of the free Palouse Mindfulness, “Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program.”  The informal mindfulness practice for this week was listening. Practicing mindful presence, tuning into the speaker, setting aside our own agenda, letting go of the need to respond or control. Just listen.

  The practice of active listening, really tuning in to others is a practice I was introduced to years ago while studying pastoral counselling skills. With all of the fancy modalities, theories and frameworks that have become popular in counselling, it is both humbling and reassuring to be reminded of the power of simple attunement. 

  Whether in the context of a professional or personal relationship, the power of lending a listening ear, setting aside judgment and allowing the speaker to unfold is at the heart of genuine connection.

How awareness of the nervous system unlocks the ancient path to Wu Wei or effortless action.

The idea of Wu Wei is intoxicating.

 Imagine having the ability to act in harmony with the universe, without forcing or straining, allowing action to arise spontaneously from a deeply grounded state of presence.  Attaining this state of being is available to all of us. It’s embedded in our nervous system.

  As we hone our ability to listen to the messages our nervous system is sending us, we improve our ability to identify what part of the system is driving our thoughts and actions.  Are we moving toward fight or flight, or perhaps we are starting to shut down in response to the situatioh either at hand or in our mind?

  With practice we learn the cues, both internal and external that help guide us back to ventral vagal state, the state of presence, safety, connection and creativity.

I’ve noticed I often drop into ventral vagal while performing mundane tasks such as chopping wood or doing the dishes. In these moments, solutions to problems or creative ideas seem to spring forth effortlessly. I also noticed this week that a little distraction, such as a calm lecture playing in the background, while I play guitar allows new musical ideas to emerge.

  What cues or activities have you noticed that drop you into ventral vagal state? How can these be paired with creative work to achieve effortless action?

  Ventral vagal is the home of Wu Wei.

Why Your High School Playlist Holds the Key to Reclaiming Your Creative Fire in Your 40s

I’ve heard from a probably reliable source, that the music you listen to in high school tends to shape your musical preferences and stay with you throughout your life.

  Perhaps it’s the emotional charge of adolescence, the intrinsic drive to create new social bonds, express individual identity, explore romantic relationships, get laid.  The pivotal years between childhood and becoming an adult set to a soundtrack that reflects who you want to be.

  Lately I’ve been playing covers of some of the music that shaped my late high school years. Covers from bands like Millencolin, Goldfinger and MxPx.  The message in this music is clear;  There’s an authority class in society that tries to draw the line for everyone else to toe.  They want to tell you how to dress, how to act and what to do.  

  Punk music says, “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.”- (even if Rage said it best).  But for many of us, the years roll by, the responsibilities pile up and we find ourselves inching closer and closer to that line we so passionately swore we’d never cross.

At 40, with the pivotal midlife crisis years knocking at the door, the punk rock energy of our youth has a resounding truth.  Midlife can be just another resignation, settling for the comfort of the status quo. But if the lyrics ring true, Midlife can also be an opportunity. An opportunity to reclaim personal power, rekindle the fire within, get creative and reimagine the unfulfilled dreams of our youth.  I’m passionate about reclaiming that fire, that’s why I’ve signed up for an open mic, started writing songs and decided to share the journey online. If you’re with me;

Start the band.

Write the songs.

Go paint a wall

Make the thing.

With love, Mark

Safe Enough

Safe enough to do something great.

Safe enough to fail.

Safe enough to set a course,

Not knowing where to sail.

Safe enough to breath deeply.

Safe enough to sigh.

Safe enough to ask the question.

Safe enough to cry.

Check out Chicks

Self serve check outs at the local supermarket remind me of my first job.

The front end operator or ‘check out chick’ as it used to be referred to ( hey, boys can scan groceries too!) is nearing extinction.

Apparently customers are capable of scanning their own groceries, under video surveillance of course.

New technology is rapidly replacing jobs where we learned to simply “do the time” in return for a pay check. 

So what’s next?

Beauty and Meaning

Beauty and meaning are intrinsically intertwined.

A delicate dance, between seen and unseen.

Beauty engages the senses, evokes emotion.

Meaning is bestowed upon the thing by the beholder.

Sometimes, it’s enough to stand in awe of beauty.

To allow the mind to be quiet, free of narration.

Sometimes, it’s enough to create beautiful things.

Wise Choosing

When we choose from the wellspring of our heart beauty arises.

Choice stems from an open heart, vagal tone, trust within.

The wave to ride, the note to play, the word to speak.

Wise choice curates beauty out of chaos.

A new path

“It’s always darkest before the dawn.”- Thomas Fuller. 

Liminal space is the transition from the darkness into a new light.  The first tentative steps down a new path before we can see where the light shines or the path weaves.

 Emerging from liminality we evolve, letting go of where we have been and who we have been. 

A new dawn, a new identity. 

Though the path is new it is also familiar.

Part of us senses, while leading us into unknown territory, this is the path home.

As we walk the path home, we are never alone.

Courageous Leaders make songs.

  When a  leader chooses a medium for their message, songs are an incredibly potent choice. 

 It’s rare to read a book more than a few times.

 Sometimes we watch a film or listen to a speech a handful of times.

But a good song? It’s hard to count  just how many times we listen to a song that moves us.

Dozens? Hundreds of times over the course of decades?

Songs are potent, songs are courageous.

Your Crazy Idea

Do you have a crazy idea? Phil Knight did. Phil was a runner who became obsessed with importing affordable, high quality running shoes from Japan to the USA.

 At the time running was not popular. At the time, following the second world war, Japan was not popular. Phil’s Crazy idea was not popular with his Dad or his classmates. 

But, Phil believed in his Crazy idea.

 Phil’s Mum handed over $6 for the first pair of shoes Phil had sent to his family home following his first trip to Japan.

  The universe conspired behind Phil and his Crazy idea. Over the course of several decades, adventures, challenges and repeated acts of faith, Phil’s Crazy idea became his life’s “work of art.” Phil’s Crazy idea became Nike.

Do you have a crazy idea?  

Blogging, Is it relevant in 2024?

Blogs or Weblogs as they are formerly known, came into existence in the late 1990‘s, marking a pivotal moment in the democratisation of media. With technological advancements, the scope for publishing diverse media online, ranging from high-definition videos to audio files, has expanded exponentially, become more accessible and cheap.

  In an era dominated by video content, has the humble text based blog lost relevance? And is it worth starting a blog in 2024?

  Reading text from a page engages the imagination in ways that are quite different to consuming the same information via video or audio.

  Text is flat, colourless and still and this is it’s super power.  Text on a screen or in a book requires the reader to engage in the task of meaning-making on a highly personal level. When reading text, we employ our imagination to construct pictures, sounds, to infer the tone and pacing of the information. When we write an idea down we invite the reader to bring more of themselves to make meaning with us.

  My personal journal recently tipped over 60,000 words. 

 Indicating to me that writing my ideas down is an activity I value.  As I read through several entries, I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘would writing in public push me to develop some of these ideas further?’ When writing in private it can be too easy to discard ideas before moving them to the next stage.  The possibility that somebody else may read the ideas creates an impetus to sit with it for a little longer, to allow the idea to unfold and mature.

Writing in public for personal development.

When we choose to write in public, we decide to be vulnerable. We expose our thoughts and allow others to see us.  This exposes some fear. Fear of judgment, failure and confrontation. Yet without confrontation, there is no dialogue. Without dialogue ideas stagnate. Learning to deal with confrontation expands our comfort zone, allowing us to contribute to society in service of ideas that move humanity toward a more integrated existence. 

  So is it worth Blogging in 2024? Only you can answer that for yourself. For me? I think it is.  Writing in public serves as a platform for personal expression, growth and also creates opportunity for meaningful dialogue to contribute to the evolution of ideas.

The Gratitude, Generosity Loop

My friend Ryan and I tried gratitude practices.

 We tried naming three things we were grateful for over dinner each evening. We tried journaling about what we were grateful for each day. Gratitude practices receive a lot of attention and praise so we thought it was worth a try.

 Ryan and I can be honest with each other. 

After a few weeks of gratitude practices we shared our honest reflections. To our surprise they didn’t seem to work. There was no perceptible shift in mood immediately after doing the practice, nor was it easy to observe any long term benefit in terms of improvement in the quality of daily thoughts.

  This puzzled me for some time. Could all the research be flawed? Or are gratitude practices another example of, “the emperor's new clothes,” hyped up beyond their actual effectiveness?

 Then I realised gratitude is only half of the equation. 

Nature requires balance. There is no up without down, no push without pull, no offence without defence. Gratitude alone is incomplete.

  The missing piece of the puzzle? Generosity.

Generosity shifts our attention from what we have received, to the gifts can share.

 When gratitude and generosity are in harmony, the energetic loop is complete. As the generosity/ gratitude loop spirals it generates energy, uplifting the mood and mindset of the practitioner and those around them.

  May your week be filled with generous gratitude. 

What is Mindful Mentoring?

Why Mindful Mentoring?

Navigating the journey from childhood to becoming a healthy, grounded, and loving individual is both exhilarating and often challenging.

While every parent strives to create a safe and nurturing environment for their kids to grow up in, the reality is that no parent can fulfil every need, especially during the tumultuous years of adolescence. This is where mentors step in – supportive, trusted adults who play a crucial role in ensuring that adolescents continue to seek guidance and support as they prepare to transition into the next phase of adulthood.

Mindful Mentoring is a unique and adaptable framework Mark has developed as he worked with young people for over 15 years.

The core4 elements of Mindful Mentoring are;

Mentoring Relationship

Foster a positive mentoring relationship grounded in shared outdoor experiences, fostering trust and connection.

Identify protective factors in the form of internal and external developmental assets. Leveraging the strengths of the individual and their community to enhance life experience.

Movement

Embrace the therapeutic benefits of spending time in natures’ beauty and tranquility, promoting mental and emotional well-being.

Participate in accessible physical activities like hiking, biking, and skateboarding to experience the benefits of moderate exercise while fostering a sense of accomplishment and adventure.

Making

Cultivate healthy creative expression through mediums such as drawing, poetry, and photography. Participants are encouraged to creatively explore life experiences, producing meaningful artefacts to share with loved ones.

Mindfulness

Provide psychosocial education to enhance participants' understanding of the intricate connection between mind and body, promoting holistic well-being.

Introduce mindfulness practices to support emotional regulation, enhance focus, and nurture a positive self-image, empowering participants to navigate life's challenges with resilience and clarity.

Could Mark be the right mentor for your client or child?

For over 15 years, Mark has dedicated himself to mentoring hundreds of young people. With experience in various educational roles, including chaplaincy, wellbeing coordination, and facilitating outdoor adventure programs, he brings a wealth of knowledge and compassion to his mentoring relationships.

Mark's training is multifaceted, beginning with a Bachelor of Theology with a focus on pastoral counselling. He furthered his qualifications by completing a Graduate Diploma in Teaching and obtaining his VIT teaching registration. Mark's commitment to helping young people thrive led him to pursue professional development in Positive youth development, Neuro-linguistic programming, and he recently achieved an Advanced Diploma in Meditation as lifestyle medicine, becoming an accredited Meditation teacher recognised by the Australian Meditation Association.

In addition to his mentoring expertise, Mark is passionate about physical activity. He is an accredited Level 2 skateboard coach, he enjoys surfing, mountain biking, and practicing Muay Thai. When he's not engaging in physical pursuits, Mark loves playing guitar, songwriting, and recording episodes for the Barku podcast.

Mark's diverse interests enable him to connect with young people on various levels. He understands that it's not just about the activities but also about approaching life with curiosity, playfulness, and faith, fostering authenticity and joy in every interaction.

If Mindful Mentoring sounds like a suitable support for a young person in your life and you reside in the Geelong or Surf Coast region, please reach out to discuss your requirements using the contact page.

Faith.

Jumping back up again requires us to have faith. Faith in ourselves and in the process.

Embarking on a new venture requires a degree of blind faith. Despite doubts about achieving results, choosing to take action initiates a subtle energetic shift. This energy becomes the driving force of creativity and action, propelling us forward even in the face of uncertainty. 

 Faith is the lifeblood of creativity and action that carries us forward even though our destination may seem uncertain.

By embracing curiosity, playfulness, and trust, I shifted from perpetual preparation to action. This website is my gift, given in good faith to you the reader. I have faith that these ideas, insights and reflections will help you as much as they have assisted me.

May Faith drive you forward this week. Mark.