Chase and It Will Run
"Can you come down to the beach?" Occasionally I'd get a call from my wife, Tilly, when, at the end of her walk, our late dog Marley refused to come close enough to be clipped back onto her lead.
Dogs, with the exception of maybe bulldogs, are generally much faster and more agile than humans. When a dog doesn't want to be caught in an open space, even the most athletic among us will have a hard time catching them.
When Marley sensed it was time to go home, she would lie down just out of reach, jumping to her feet, moving just a bit further away every time Tilly took a step in her direction. Chasing Marley would only send her darting into the sand dunes where she could hide in the scrub, safely out of reach.
The more of a hurry Tilly was in to leave the beach, the harder it was to put Marley back on her lead. Marley could sense the tension in her movement. Tilly's presence was no longer calm and inviting. As the frustration mounted, Marley became increasingly difficult to cajole back onto her lead or into the car.
Most animals, people and things in life don't like being chased unless it's part of a game. On a primitive level, being caught meant being eaten, killed or domesticated into a life of hard labour.
The animal doing the chasing generally has an agenda in mind that may not align with the plans of the animal being chased.
It's similar with ideas. The more we chase them, the more we need them to conform to the agenda we have created in our minds, the more elusive the idea becomes. The mounting pressure, tension and anxiety we create as we chase ideas shifts our emotional disposition towards fear, shutting down our imagination.
An alternative way of relating to ideas and dogs is to invite connection by maintaining a calm, open disposition. As we relinquish our agenda, relax, smile, slow down, the sense of safety we embody naturally invites connection.
The dog or idea may still choose to rest just out of reach and we learn to be ok with this...
Or we call for backup who arrives with an irresistible treat that the dog just can't resist!
